But You're A Horse Romance Novel

The online prankster responsible for the infamous "knock knock hijack" and "hotel graffiti" now presents But….You're A Horse romance novel, a disparate assortment of jokes, stories, and hijinks entirely unrelated to the image on the front.

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Penguin Water Bottles

Ditch that tired plastic bottle and elevate your hydration game with one of these charming penguin water bottles. Each delightful 8.5-ounce container boasts a high borosilicate glass lining encased in a durable TPE/ABS plastic shell, cleverly shaped to resemble an utterly cute, brightly hued little penguin.

Gerber Ghoststrike Fixed Blade Knife

Keep the Gerber Ghoststrike fixed blade knife close by to guarantee you're always ready for anything. This American-made implement, skillfully constructed from 420HC steel and finished with a black ceramic coat, boasts a small, minimalist frame for easy, unnoticeable transport.

The Nap Sack

Ready to snag some serious shut-eye even when the world insists on being awake and annoying? The Nap Sack is your new best friend for catching those glorious Z’s on the go! Just slide this cleverly ventilated little number right over your head—yep, your whole noggin—and suddenly, the park bench, the slightly-too-long sermon, or that soul-crushingly dull work meeting transforms into your personal snooze zone. It’s the ultimate accessory for the discreetly dedicated napper, making any location perfectly acceptable for a quick, refreshing power nap.

Wild West Spice Gift Set

Prepare for a culinary duel at your dining domain with this collection of the most rambunctious, flavor-packed provisions imaginable. This dozen-piece assortment, featuring six sauces and six rubs, delivers a powerful kick of smoky, oaky, and spicy notes that evoke the spirit of the untamed frontier.

Hooli Swimming Pool Fountain

The Hooli Swimming Pool Fountain is your ticket to a truly impressive backyard aesthetic without the accompanying financial drama. Installation is a breeze, leveraging your current pool pump for power while simultaneously oxygenating the water, and its integrated LED feature instantly injects a delightful atmosphere into your swimming experience.

Mario Mushroom Neon Light

Elevate your room's mood lighting with this Mario mushroom neon light, a playfully aware nod to classic gaming. This cheeky acrylic light offers an alternate color option for those desiring a bit more originality and flair in their personal space.

The Mini Commodore 64

Relive your 8‑bit youth with this half‑size Commodore 64 replica. It looks like the original but plugs into modern TVs via HDMI and comes packed with 64 classic games for instant retro fun.

The Smart Refrigerator Coffee Table

Why trek all the way to the kitchen for a sip when you can have the smart refrigerator coffee table right in your living room? This clever little gem not only keeps your drinks chilled but also boasts built-in speakers to set the mood and ports for charging your devices, ensuring you’re always connected. Plus, with two separate cooling drawers, you can keep your refreshments organized and ready to go. It’s like having a mini bar and tech hub all in one, making your lounging experience effortlessly fun!

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Endless Meowy Christmas Card

Inject some delightful pandemonium into the season using the Endless Meowy Christmas Card, a device that continuously broadcasts a festive meow melody for more than three hours and conceals a surprise glitter detonation, making it the ideal gag for pals who are due for some holiday cat-themed mischief.

101 Pooping Puppies Puzzle

Fans of dogs and toilet humor will love assembling this 101-piece puzzle of puppies doing their business. It’s equal parts adorable, ridiculous and satisfying to complete.

Mini Spy Hidden Camera

Maintain discreet surveillance of your residence or workplace without raising suspicion thanks to this compact covert camera. It accommodates a memory card up to 32GB and captures 1920 X 1080P HD footage at 30 frames per second when motion is detected.

Hotbox Stoner Card Game

Elevate your gathering to a higher plane by sparking one and settling in for a spirited round of Hotbox. This cannabis-centric contest requires participants to pair question cards with answer cards concerning marijuana, aiming to construct the most comical responses conceivable.

What Do You Meme Card Game

Bring internet humor to the table with 'What Do You Meme?' Players pair caption cards with photo prompts, and a rotating judge picks the funniest combination, making for endless laughs.

Heads Up Hands Free Driving Display

Get ready to navigate with flair! This snazzy heads-up display is here to keep your eyes on the road while your smartphone does the heavy lifting. It cradles your device and projects your directions onto a sleek glass screen, ensuring your view remains crystal clear. Say goodbye to distractions and hello to smooth sailing through town!

The World's Smallest Phone

For those who find today's enormous, tablet-like phones a bit much, shed some bulk with the planet's tiniest phone. Though remarkably small, it arrives packed with capabilities such as Bluetooth, a camera, a calendar, FM Radio, plus a Micro SD slot.

Goblies Throwable Paintballs

Let kids safely enjoy a paintball skirmish with Goblies, throw-friendly paintballs made from plant-based goo. They're non-toxic, wash out of clothes easily and provide splashy, colorful fun without welts or bruises.

Tactical Machete

Arm yourself for the apocalypse, yard work, or costume parties with this tactical machete set. Each full-tang stainless steel blade is long, sturdy, and ready to be dual-wielded, giving you serious chopping power whether you’re clearing brush or battling imaginary zombies.

Bottle Launcher

Transforming an ordinary soda bottle into a magnificent water-propelled rocket is easily achieved with this launcher. Its sleek, compact structure offers a stable platform for the bottle, enabling the secure vertical launch of a standard two-liter plastic bottle toward the heavens, utilizing only the power of a simple hand pump.

FPS Gaming Sight Attachment

Unleash your inner champion on the battlefield with the FPS gaming sight attachment, your new secret weapon for fragging like a pro. Compatible with all major gaming consoles, this nifty gadget boosts your accuracy while letting you shoot faster—almost like having your very own aimbot! Get ready to rack up those kills and reign supreme as the ultimate frag leader!

Drift Kinetic Sand Table

Dive into serenity with this drift kinetic sand table that’s as captivating as it is calming. Watch the mesmerizing movements unfold, sparking your creativity while sharpening your focus. It’s the perfect playful addition to any office or home, inviting you to get lost in the flow and find your inner zen. Who knew relaxation could be so much fun?

Gradient Puzzle

Challenge your puzzle prowess with an attempt to conquer one of these vibrant gradient puzzles. Every 500-piece set is rendered on premium art paper, showcasing a notoriously difficult gradient color scheme engineered specifically to try your patience while you construct the image.

Stratosphere 1-Person Shelter

Camp ultralight with this one‑person bivy shelter featuring a small footprint, waterproof fabric and quick setup for minimalist explorers.

LEGO Roller Coaster Creation Set

Get ready to send the good folks of LEGOville on a wild ride they won't forget! This LEGO roller coaster creation set is your ticket to a thrilling adventure, complete with everything you need—from the train cars that zoom through the air to the cheerful ride attendants and even a cast of LEGO minifig riders. It's a fully functional chain model that promises excitement and fun, making it a perfect addition to your growing collection. Buckle up for a roller coaster experience like no other!

Destruct Hard Drive Data Eraser

Ready to give your data the boot? Meet the Destruct hard drive data eraser, your new best friend in the quest for digital cleanliness! This military-grade marvel is compatible with all Windows OS, ensuring your sensitive info is wiped off the map for good. Simply plug it into your USB port, fire up your PC, and choose the hard disk you want to obliterate. It’s as easy as pie, but way more satisfying—because who doesn’t love a good data vanishing act?

The World’s Most Sour Candy

Pucker up for the ultimate sour challenge with Final Boss sour candy. These blueberry gummies are made with real fruit and pack an acidic punch strong enough to make even seasoned sour fans wince.

Men's Valet Organizer Box

Keep your frequently accessed possessions from wandering off by stashing them within this men's valet organizer box. This essential piece of bedroom furniture features a variety of compartments, each sized uniquely, allowing you to neatly tuck away everything from your mobile phone and house keys to a bit of loose currency.

I'm Glad My Mom Died

Jeanette McCurdy seemed to possess everything: fame, fortune, devoted fans, and a burgeoning Nickelodeon acting career from a young age. However, the truth was far different, as revealed in this tragic yet surprisingly funny memoir detailing her experiences with abuse, manipulation, and addiction.

The Cat Face Massager

Your feline companions would undoubtedly deem The Cat Face Massager the absolute cat's pajamas if they possessed a sense of humor regarding wordplay. This peculiar gadget applies the ideal amount of pressure to their adorable little snouts, ushering them directly into a state of blissful kitty enlightenment. Employ this marvelous tool behind their ears and across their bellies as well; they will adore the sensation.

Flymo Electric Hover Lawnmower

Glide over your lawn on a cushion of air with the Flymo electric hover mower. The floating design makes mowing effortless, while its compact form ensures easy storage and sharp cutting.

Mom, I Want to Hear Your Story

Ready to finally capture all those amazing, slightly embarrassing, and totally heartwarming tales your magnificent mother has been hoarding? "Mom, I Want to Hear Your Story" is here to help you bottle up her brilliance and make sure her legacy lives on! This isn't just some blank journal; we've packed it with a series of expertly crafted, slightly nosy (in the best way!) questions designed specifically to gently unearth the full, glorious saga of your mom's life. Think of it as a guided tour through her memories, ensuring you don't miss any of the juicy bits or the truly profound moments. It’s the perfect way to immortalize her unique story, keeping all those precious memories safe and sound for generations to come—because let's be honest, her life deserves a bestseller, and this is step one!

Kids Against Maturity

Get the whole family laughing with Kids Against Maturity. This card game mixes kid‑friendly humour with edgy punch lines to create an all‑ages party game that’s easy to learn and endlessly replayable.

Hasselback Potato Slicing Rack

Consider this slicing apparatus your official invitation to craft Hasselback potatoes with professional flair. This nifty gadget presents a wooden platform fitted with twin spikes for securing the spud, complemented by a metallic guide rail ensuring slicing remains both secure and simple.

Dumb Ways To Die Card Game

This hilariously hazardous card game, Dumb Ways to Die, offers minimal survival prospects yet guarantees maximum amusement. Successfully navigate peculiar perils and steer clear of ridiculous fatalities. It's the ideal choice for companions who appreciate a touch of the macabre.

Anker NEBULA Mars 3

Bring the cinema outdoors with this rugged, portable projector. It casts a 200‑inch 1080p image, pumps out 40 W of sound and withstands dust, water and drops for movie nights under the stars.

Farting Go Kart Racer

Zip around while emitting hysterical sound effects. This go-kart releases comical fart noises as you drive, turning casual rides into sidesplitting racing fun.

Car Headlight Fluid

Keep your ride shining bright by making sure your car headlight fluid is always at its best! This magical potion is friendly with all makes and models, and it loves to hang out with both LEDs and halogen bulbs. Just remember to give it a little top-off every 2,000 miles to keep those beams performing like rock stars!

Vacanti Spirale Wine Glass

Capture sediment in a clever hand-blown glass. A spiral inside traps dregs as you sip, letting you enjoy every pour without unwanted grit.

Intelligent Personal Mobility Device

Say goodbye to trudging: once you mount this Intelligent Personal Mobility Device, foot travel is utterly passé. This simple transport boasts brilliant LED rear illumination for enhanced security and lets you glide through the urban landscape at velocities reaching six miles per hour.

Back To The Future Marty's Pickup Truck

This Back to the Future Marty’s pickup truck lets you perfectly recapture those famous moments from the beloved sci-fi time-travel movie. It’s ideal for showcasing within your own collection of cool stuff, or perhaps pass it along to the younger generation and embark on some seriously fun temporal escapades together.